Feedback from the Field

This time around I am going to post some of the feedback early readers provide about THE PROVING in its unedited advanced reading stage. Hopefully some of the “cross-pollination” this will yield will help me gather additional intel on everyone’s likes and dislikes.

Comments from June 22nd:

“Pretty darn good read. I think it is an improvement over your last effort. There were some other grammar errors where you had the wrong word in a sentence, but spell check won’t pick it up. I do like how you condensed the number of points of view of the story over last time. However there are still lots of characters in the story to keep track of and remember. As a first book in a series there was lots of character development and took a while to get going. The climax in “To Lose and to Gain” was slightly underwhelming for me and I didn’t get the sense of an epic battle between the two sides. The rush to save the kingdom in “Diversion” was a bit better, but we kind of lose sight of our heroes’ roles in the battle to save the day. Consider expanding it a bit and build a bit of depth to other heroes performing a heroic action or two to help save the day. We see that from the Princess and Annix but the others get a sentence here and there that they were essentially around on the battlefield and doing things. Perhaps have them saving some other non-emergent characters.”

This early reader also went on to say that the book could benefit from maps and a glossary, which of course I embrace! The other comments are solid… going to give some serious thought to how the final chapters play out.

And some Comments from June 24th:

“I am up to chapter 7. Great descriptions! I love the further description of the scene with the cart falling into the river. Excited to keep reading. No problem! I love the term “Rents”. The tie into apprentice, but with the idea they can be bought for a time – very clever! The only thing I don’t know about is the “Erin courtyard”. Is this the name of the courtyard or a style of courtyard? A quick blurb in there describing why it is named such might be helpful.”

Good idea! Especially since I don’ t plan to include a map of Coradine Castle in the book.

More to come soon!



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